Why We Despair, Solace in Fortunes and a Brief Synopsis of My Circumstance
Greetings, society. My name is Howard. As of writing this, I am 22 years old. Its a Saturday afternoon.
There is a court order waiting for me this upcoming Tuesday. Without proper defense, my mother will go to jail. I am also facing the complete dissolution of my family's fortunes, which will happen within this month. Personally, I owe millions to various high-interest lenders I cannot pay. In my youth, I happily signed these loans because my mother reassured me of my financial safety, but as she has turned mad, I am left to manage all this.
I have traveled back from university to take care of matters this week. While living here, I come home to my grandma, who is afflicted with dementia. Her eyes briefly gaze towards me and widen; she seems prepared to say something to the grandson she raised, then returns to the fog of confusion. I drive to gather documents from kind-hearted lawyers whom we can no longer afford. I do schoolwork. There is currently a lot on my plate.
I believe that my mother is a good person; she has shown virtue and kindness at every opportunity. She has always told me to act kindly to others, but in recent years her paranoia has overtaken her.
In no way am I qualified to handle this situation. Given the silver spoon I was raised with, I have done no remarkable task with my life. I am lazy and undisciplined. Even in video games such as Minecraft, while others build grand mega structures, I end up living in a dirt hut with stone tools. Perhaps it’s because I've always relied on someone. But today, there is nobody but me to face this insurmountable challenge.
So, in the absolute garbage circumstance it becomes easy to give in to despair. I ask myself why I do that. Perhaps falling into despair was an evolutionary advantage; people are social creatures that help others, and being in despair creates that signal. But what good is it for me right now, who is alone in my struggles? Perhaps a good mental breakdown clears the brain of stress-inducing chemicals, perhaps it resets the neural networks within our brain to a problem-solving mentality. That would be a sad reason for despair to exist. An AI with infinite neural plasticity can easily surpass this limitation.
I find the act of being in despair a detriment to one's success in modern society. Being in despair isn't conducive to solving the problem. Sitting down and devising strategies is. So I ask why such an emotion cannot be suppressed with the rational part of my mind. Even if tears and curling up can be avoided, despair manifests itself in other ways. Your eyes become unfocused, you blank out in wild trains of thought. Whatever million years of evolutionary advantages that ultimately created the feeling of despair is not necessarily advantageous in today's society.
Perhaps being in despair can lead us to new revelations. In Boethius's *Consolation of Philosophy*, during what could be described as a mental breakdown, Lady Philosophy appears before him. He speaks that a man's will is like a vector in the fields of Fortuna.
Sometimes what may be attributed to Fortuna can be a lack of negotiating tact. For example, if an actor in a business dealing has some unreasonable demand with no legal backing, it is best to address what he thinks is unreasonable or not deal with him at all, for proceeding with what he deems is an unreasonable deal may build grievance against you; or, in other words, create the opportunity for ill Fortuna to occur.
Simple scenarios such as these are misfortunes that can be redirected by understanding the motives of each actor at play and satisfying them accordingly. Some sort of grand strategy could be implemented to avoid grievances down the line where one might sue the other. If one will be unhappy enough to harbor ill will against you, it is best not to deal with them entirely. Never brush them off as being some unreasonable madman and ignore their demands while working with them.
Other complex scenarios, such as economic fortunes, or even stuff like meteorology, can be analyzed with the power of computers. Thanks to technology, complicated information can be succinctly implied with a neat Capital Adequacy Ratio or Federal interest rates. With more parameters and computational power, there will be fewer and fewer probabilistic events that hide behind Lady Fortuna. Of course, we cannot simulate every atom, but the predictions will get pretty accurate.
Knowing this, it's easy to become obsessed with controlling the winds of fortune. But from your point of reference, Fortuna exists because you have limited intelligence to foresee everything. God also exists for similar reasons. So rest easy knowing that God and Lady Fortuna will incur the mightiest wrath and bestow the warmest blessings on a whim. Whatever it is, you always have yourself. Perhaps by being more capable, you can navigate better in the endless fields.
I pray to God that when the winds of Fortunes change, I will be ready.
There is a court order waiting for me this upcoming Tuesday. Without proper defense, my mother will go to jail. I am also facing the complete dissolution of my family's fortunes, which will happen within this month. Personally, I owe millions to various high-interest lenders I cannot pay. In my youth, I happily signed these loans because my mother reassured me of my financial safety, but as she has turned mad, I am left to manage all this.
I have traveled back from university to take care of matters this week. While living here, I come home to my grandma, who is afflicted with dementia. Her eyes briefly gaze towards me and widen; she seems prepared to say something to the grandson she raised, then returns to the fog of confusion. I drive to gather documents from kind-hearted lawyers whom we can no longer afford. I do schoolwork. There is currently a lot on my plate.
I believe that my mother is a good person; she has shown virtue and kindness at every opportunity. She has always told me to act kindly to others, but in recent years her paranoia has overtaken her.
In no way am I qualified to handle this situation. Given the silver spoon I was raised with, I have done no remarkable task with my life. I am lazy and undisciplined. Even in video games such as Minecraft, while others build grand mega structures, I end up living in a dirt hut with stone tools. Perhaps it’s because I've always relied on someone. But today, there is nobody but me to face this insurmountable challenge.
So, in the absolute garbage circumstance it becomes easy to give in to despair. I ask myself why I do that. Perhaps falling into despair was an evolutionary advantage; people are social creatures that help others, and being in despair creates that signal. But what good is it for me right now, who is alone in my struggles? Perhaps a good mental breakdown clears the brain of stress-inducing chemicals, perhaps it resets the neural networks within our brain to a problem-solving mentality. That would be a sad reason for despair to exist. An AI with infinite neural plasticity can easily surpass this limitation.
I find the act of being in despair a detriment to one's success in modern society. Being in despair isn't conducive to solving the problem. Sitting down and devising strategies is. So I ask why such an emotion cannot be suppressed with the rational part of my mind. Even if tears and curling up can be avoided, despair manifests itself in other ways. Your eyes become unfocused, you blank out in wild trains of thought. Whatever million years of evolutionary advantages that ultimately created the feeling of despair is not necessarily advantageous in today's society.
Perhaps being in despair can lead us to new revelations. In Boethius's *Consolation of Philosophy*, during what could be described as a mental breakdown, Lady Philosophy appears before him. He speaks that a man's will is like a vector in the fields of Fortuna.
Sometimes what may be attributed to Fortuna can be a lack of negotiating tact. For example, if an actor in a business dealing has some unreasonable demand with no legal backing, it is best to address what he thinks is unreasonable or not deal with him at all, for proceeding with what he deems is an unreasonable deal may build grievance against you; or, in other words, create the opportunity for ill Fortuna to occur.
Simple scenarios such as these are misfortunes that can be redirected by understanding the motives of each actor at play and satisfying them accordingly. Some sort of grand strategy could be implemented to avoid grievances down the line where one might sue the other. If one will be unhappy enough to harbor ill will against you, it is best not to deal with them entirely. Never brush them off as being some unreasonable madman and ignore their demands while working with them.
Other complex scenarios, such as economic fortunes, or even stuff like meteorology, can be analyzed with the power of computers. Thanks to technology, complicated information can be succinctly implied with a neat Capital Adequacy Ratio or Federal interest rates. With more parameters and computational power, there will be fewer and fewer probabilistic events that hide behind Lady Fortuna. Of course, we cannot simulate every atom, but the predictions will get pretty accurate.
Knowing this, it's easy to become obsessed with controlling the winds of fortune. But from your point of reference, Fortuna exists because you have limited intelligence to foresee everything. God also exists for similar reasons. So rest easy knowing that God and Lady Fortuna will incur the mightiest wrath and bestow the warmest blessings on a whim. Whatever it is, you always have yourself. Perhaps by being more capable, you can navigate better in the endless fields.
I pray to God that when the winds of Fortunes change, I will be ready.
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